Confessions of a Sentimentalist

jotting the history; living the moment; dreaming the future

>My Boring Friday

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>I was supposed to go over to ahma’s today, ngor ahyi took leave and was at home today. Argh. In the end I spent the whole day rotting at home. I shall not elaborate on the reason, but to just say that I did the TECHNICALLY correct thing in everyone’s perspectives, so I’ll just go along with it. I’m just so relieved that everyone’s home now and I don’t feel like I’m the only one at home AGAIN.

I’ve always lamented on how I hated to be alone at home when there are other more interesting places I could go. And I especially loathe it when I feel like this even when there’s people in the house.

I remembered a particular Saturday night long time ago very clearly. Mom’s doing her own things in the room, dad’s on the computer, I forgot what sissy’s doing. It’s as if no one’s at home. I felt so suffocated and was ridiculously on the verge of crying that I had to turn on some music on and call someone to talk and make myself feel better. It’s that bad for me. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not, but I just can’t help but feel this way.

As I grow older I’m able to control my feelings and outbursts more, I have realised. And I’m proud of having to achieve this… whatever you call that. My mother actually thought I needed help to a point she started borrowing ‘anger management’ self-help books for me when I was in primary school. Yes, it was that serious! It’s been such a long way, and I’m glad I can still survive til now!

I like spending my time on Tumblr. Actually I’ve been spending most of my vacation on Tumblr, to be honest. (I know the initial plan was to post pictures I shot, but I really can’t help but reblog those nice nice stuffs there…) And following The Straits Times on twitter is actually a wise choice that I think I did(: I can really feel that I’ve grown up, seriously.

Well, how do I say it? I somewhat behave differently in front of different people. And I’ve often wondered – does that make me a hypocrite then? HMMS.

Ok, here’s something I’ve learnt in Tumblr. Well, not learn, more of… paid attention to?

ATHAZAGORAPHOBIA – FEAR OF FORGETTING AND BEING FORGOTTEN.

I think this is one of my many fears. There’s no cure, I think. You’ll just have to make it all better by having a thick skin and make the first move by contacting people and catching up with their lives without you so that you can still have them in your life and vice versa?

So, friends! I’m waiting for your texts or whatever to prove that you’re still alive and kicking! Hahahaa! Better reply to my texts before I get melancholic. LOL!

I’m getting tired, maybe it’s because I woke up at around 1 in the afternoon today. But hey! It’s an effective time-waster for a lonely Friday like today!

Outta here!

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Written by GekTeng

October 15, 2010 at 10:33 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

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