Confessions of a Sentimentalist

jotting the history; living the moment; dreaming the future

>Time for myself

with one comment

>It’s already been 5 weeks since poly started, time really flies. I’ve made some new friends and have been adjusting well to my new life.

Travelling to and fro to my school can be hectic, and lonely. But after all these while, I think I’ve got used to the loneliness. I’m lucky to have my ipod with me. Sometimes it’s good to just sit on the bus with your ipod and looking out at the window, thinking of nothing. I actually liked travelling on the bus on my own more now. I think I actually prefer travelling on my own now. It’s kind of a carefree feeling rather than a lonely feeling. I could do whatever I want and do not have a care of others. Sometimes I find I enjoyed this so much I couldn’t bear alighting the bus.

I wished I have the time to look up at the sky more often. I remembered once sitting on the bus and looking out to the sky-the blue blue sky with white clouds lolling past. I swear I’ve never seen such blue skies in my entire life, and I was just sitting there grinning to myself wishing that I could sit there and watch the sky forever. Sometimes happiness can be that simple.

I don’t know if changes took place within me, if it does, I hope the change in me isn’t much, simply because I like the way I am just fine. It’s just that the people that are around me changed, but I didn’t want me to change according to the people I’ve been with. So, yea, that’s something I think I have to work on. Finding myself and sticking to it.

Studying in poly gave me more time for myself, time to think, to reflect, daydream, or sometimes simply just to stone. I feel I have more time for my family now, having to return home with nowhere to go after school. And I’ve somewhat like going home and spending time with daddy and mommy. And I’ve been practising piano almost everyday too;)

Attachments have been fun, better than I’ve expected. I wished we could have the sessions more often. I keep finding myself daydreaming and thinking about the kids there. And fortunately, my mentor was good! I really liked her, she really provided us with alot of help and seemed really interested in what we’re doing and lending a helping hand too. Working along with Hafiza is also a bonus(: At least I’ve got someone there whom I know, and furthermore she’s from my class.

It’s nearing the term break, and the assignments and duedates just poured in from nowhere. I realised our course isn’t anything about presentations and projects, but more on writing and reporting. Hell, we even have a module called ‘Written Communications’. How cool is that. I have to write thousand-word essays and learn referencing, deal with plagarism and all that, ask me what I’d prefer? I’ll tell you after I’ve completed my argumentative essay for my Written Communications module. Yikes, to think of it makes me want to puke already, I’m lucky the duedate is on July. I think my favourite module is Speech Training. Haha, now I’m trained to talk even! What an interesting course.

Today’s been a really messy day, and I found myself walking the pathway that Isabel and me would always walk by after our tuition at Uncle Lawrence’s. To think of it, 2009 wasn’t really that bad. I mean, of course there are stresses from O’ levels and all that stuffs, but I really did enjoy the whole process, and I’ve been missing it ever since I left. I missed going to Emma’s Studying Place every Saturday evenings and walking back home with Isabel. I missed the fun times we had in humanities class with Mrs Lee, the best teacher I have ever had in my whole life. I missed quarreling with Shuhui and disturbing her. I missed how Joel and Mani danced their version of ‘Can I Have This Dance’ on my 16th birthday. I missed the singing sessions Isabel and I had during class. I missed having recesses with HUANGZU. I missed drawing Mr Radha during math lesson and discussing about his wave-y hair.

Do I still have to continue? If I did, I could write a book.

And now to think about all those memories, I realised I haven’t even remembered or thought of any negative stuffs from RS. Not a single one. Only the good ones stayed around, and cling to me, supporting me and accompanying me with every milestones I make towards my future. And I have to admit, thinking of all those memories and people who are drifting away from my life like how I’m drifting away from theirs make me weep sometimes.

I know it’s not the end, but how good will it be if you guys were there as I’m having fun? Sometimes it’s not the same without them, I guess this kind of rapport we have is so unique I’m afraid I couldn’t find it anywhere again.

I wonder what will happen if we meet again?

Maybe talk for hours, or days, or weeks, or months, or years for nonstop.

And whenever I immerse myself in those crazy daydreams of mine, I don’t know why, but these people always appear and be part of it. How I hope this applies to real life as well.

How fun it would be if we take turns to be each other’s bridesmaid and the godmothers of each other’s children! Aye, Isabel and Shuhui? Ain’t that our dream from what seems so long ago?

I can’t wait to meet all of you again:)


Written by GekTeng

May 21, 2010 at 11:06 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. >Yup, me too. Travelling alone allows you to think more, about your life. Like can sit back and have more time for yourself, to just relax. Without anybody disturbing .. Suddenly things around you, even the simplest thing can be beautiful. And then you'll realise all the little things in life you had miss out. 🙂 It isnt a bad thing afterall. Agree *thumb up!


    June 17, 2010 at 11:20 PM

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