Confessions of a Sentimentalist

jotting the history; living the moment; dreaming the future

>new targets… new life.

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>hellos. this week is filled with confusion, uncertaincy, twisting of the guts, and finally relieve. alot of things were happening at the same time, too much that i don’t think i can handle it. but i’m glad i’m slowly getting the picture, and adjusting to my new lifestyle in the preparation of my o’levels that i’m going to work hard on. i just hope everything will come to an end soon. then i’ll have time to relax and unwind… ahh~ but it’s too early to say these things ba. LOLS

we were already high-ing on wednesday about how prom should be; about what we should wear, and preparing a HSM show for everyone. haha. it’s good that prom actually happens a week later after o’s and not on the day of the last paper. i can spend this one week to shop for prom dresses! WOOTS! it will be fun! hahaha! i’m sooo looking forward to prom. joel even said to book a suite in the hotel we will be having prom in for the class. haha! it will be so fun la. and it’s like so long time away. and we haven’t even taken our prelims, not to say the real o levels, and now we’re already thinking about prom. lols OUR MOTIVATION. HAHA!

also, the o’levels results release was on monday. the media even came, but i didn’t see snippets of our school in the news. bleah. it was quite an emotional sight for us to watch. and having this to be the first time i watched the whole ‘show’ and that the seniors that i’m close with were all graduating and gone, sighs. i became emotional la. but i’m very very proud to say that all my seniors had the job well done. serves for a kind of MOTIVATION too. i hope i’ll be one of the listed names on the powerpoint slides when they announced OUR results next year. i have to work hard for it!

yes i have something to work on. haha. this also makes me think more about what i want to do in the future; what my future should be; how i want my future to be. HMMS. it’s really a very tough decision, especially when i’ve got a whooping a2 for my chinese. although i’ve already decided to drop higher chinese, but the thought process i went through this week was really not a good experience for me. suddenly the whole concept of ‘my future’ seems so blur and scary.it was the time when i’m in between dropping and not dropping higher chinese, and i’m not afriad to tell you i’ve really done alot of thinking and spent 1 sleepless night just because of this issue. this also reminds me of high school musical. haha. when troy doesn’t know what he wants. i felt what he was feeling at that time, and i was lucky i didn’t have a ‘gabriella’ to think about. lols./ and i’m beginning to like the song ‘scream’. really reflected my feelings when i had no idea of what i should do; of what is the right thing to do.

i’m glad my parents were open to my options. they gave me absolute freedom to choose my path, of dropping or not. sometimes i wished they would just be more insistent on what they want me to do. but it’s respect they gave me, the respect that i came to treasure and understand of. it’s really scary making all these decisions, having to know that the final decision will change your whole life, it’s really frightening. i’m beginning to grasp the so called ‘hidden’ meaning of hsm le. there’s this conversation of troy and his father about the college he should go into. ‘YOU RAISED ME UP SO THAT I CAN MAKE MY OWN CHOICES, AND I HAVE TO MAKE THEM’ i finally understand what it means. what is the point of having your future being planned ahead by someone else? i’d rather bear the consequences of making the wrong deicisons than to have my future being planned by someone else. especially a future i didn’t want. and i’m glad my parents supported my decisions, and also giving me opinions that worth alot, and encouragements that i will often need. AWWW. THANKS PA MA. LOLS WHAT A GOOD MOVIE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IS.

tilnow, i don’t think i’ve regretted dropping out of higher chinese. there’s already time for me to do my own things, and my catching up. and i’m confident to say that i’ve really used the time wisely. except it’s very tiring. life in the senior year is tiring. i just hope i’ll adapt quickly and do my thing. having to drop higher chinese really lightens my load. i can literally feel ‘lighter’ haha. except i keep eating. lols!

wells, so i hope everything will be alright ba, extra lessons are starting, and we still have choir syf to chiong. and not forgetting i’m still in the midst of preparing both my piano grade 8 theory AND practical. i hope i can manage my time well and have everything done to the best of my capabilities.

i also have to thank people who wished me happy birthday and the presents. i really appreciated it very much. it’s been a pleasure meeting everyone, having fun with you all and blah. i’ve come to know that there’s nothing more pleasant than having your loved ones and friends to give you their well-wishes, support and encouragements and their crap. it’s the letters that i came to like the most though, out of all the presents that i’ve received. honestly, not even ZANESSA, can make me smile as wide as i did when i read through those letters. at least now i know what i have is true, and it’s all from the heart. THANK YOU EVERYONE. afterall, it’s YOU who had made me who i am today. SERIOUSLY HOW BETTER CAN MY SWEET 16TH BIRTHDAY GET?! HAHA!

i have this show that i’m starting to get obssessed over. it’s GHOST WHISPERER. wells, i’ve been watching the episodes on-and-off from the first season, but the plot really gets better and better. i’m hooked. OFFICIALLY. YESTERDAY. an episode when merlinda’s husband jim died. sighs. really touching. got me on the verge of tears. but it’s kind of lucky that merlinda can still see him when he’s dead. haha. i’ll keep on watching the show. woots! and maybe watching the whole 4 seasons when my olevels end. haha

so that’s it for now, BYE BYE!

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Written by GekTeng

January 17, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

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